Today the Times Online published the tale of Andrew Winters's short-lived stint as assistant road manager for Moz, and it serves as the definitive guide on how to curry Morrissey's favor in such a situation -- its lesson distilled to this shining pearl of wisdom: No matter what you do, you probably don't stand a chance of currying Morrissey's favor in such a situation.

But in case you were wondering, here's what the interview process and duties entailed: